The Shutdown, spoiled milk, and Funko Pops, oh my!
As of January 24th, 2019, the United States federal government shutdown was on its 34th day. It was the longest U.S government shutdown in history. 800,000 federal employees and their agencies were either shut down or furloughed. Native American tribes were not being paid federal funding promised in treaties made with the United States. The U.S Coast Guard and many military schools such as the National War College and Coast Guard Academy lost funding and could not pay their professors. Standard’s & Poor’s (S&P’s) released an analysis stating that the shutdown cost the U.S economy 3.6 billion. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) being ninety-five percent furloughed meant that our milk and other perishable foods were going unchecked.
Even though I am not a federal worker, I have been affected.
Enter Funko, Inc.
Founded in 1998, the company manufactures licensed pop culture collectibles such as plushies, action figures, bobble heads, and vinyl figurines (not figures you animals!). In my collecting, I focus on vinyl figurines known as Funko Pops. These are the cutest freaking collectibles I’ve seen in the world. Their black beady eyes convey comfort and a dark, titillating secret at the same time. I currently have ten funko pops in my collection. Some come from the Sesame Street lineup and some from Rugrats, and then there are a couple Bob Rosses, BoJack Horseman, Ad Icons, and Rick and Morty. Yes, I would like to confirm that I am an “intellectual.”
Currently, I am focusing on beefing up my Ad Icons collection. There are 40 Funko Pops to collect - not including variants - and let me tell you: these guys at Funko, Inc., love their variants. There are four different “Twinkie the Kid” Funko Pops, and the only difference is the hat and scarf. But, as you know, once you sign the blood oath, you must follow through and collect every single one, or you will suffer the consequences of your Funko Pops coming alive at night and killing you in your sleep.
You may be asking by now, “Do tell, how does this tie in with the U.S shutdown?” The answer is delays! Postal delays, my dear readers. If you didn’t know, the postal service is actually the United States Postal Service. Funko Pops that were guaranteed to ship and deliver in just three days were caught in purgatory for several weeks, making lusting collectors like me go into full Gollum mode. Without my precious Funko Pops, I am nothing!
The bottom line is this: the shutdown was more than what has been described on the news or in articles on the Internet. It is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and the sheep are the government workers, citizens of the United States, and Funko pop collectors alike.
Article by Staff Writer Indigo Walker, @indigotheplant